We all know this to be a fact that when writing as a Chinese or a Russian citizen one must self censor. If not the authorities could arrest you and you’d end up in prison or a lot worse. Should this writer like me criticize a dictator like Putin while passing through his Russia, I’d be deep in boracht soup. I’m pleased to say Americans and generally reporters in Western countries don’t have to be too darn concerned about government control over what they say. They can be as indiscrete and as insulting as they believe necessary. Americans say what they want no matter how true it is or not, and are never punished for it. Castigated yes, criticized of course, but the writers and speakers are never severely penalized under our Constitution which provides us the right and the privilege of free speech.
But contrary to this Right we do censor ourselves as a matter of public taste, discretion, and morality. Most people look down their noses at those that break the rules of civility or are overly critical and complaining about celebrities, sports teams, and of our politicians who in most situations deserve to be criticized and denounced. We at first put the criticism aside and try to believe that the person or persons are better than they really are, which is not always the case.
Blogging twelve articles so far I had to limit myself and self censor like a real life professional columnist, just like the ones living in China or Saudi Arabia. The previous two columns of which I speak were probably not candidates for censorship or deletion now that I come think of it. One dealt with a sexual matter while being interviewed by Oprah Winfrey, which is archived on this blog. It was concerning the size of my organ, that no one would really normally care about not even a girlfriend, if I had one, and the other is an entire article devoted to Osama Bin Laden’s gender. In the bin Laden piece I felt I would offend the Muslim Community, or the Bin Laden family. For that I could be assassinated by a renegade diehard over-reaching Al Qaeda terrorists wanting to collect extra points for his club should he be successful, or else a close relative of the bin Ladens, who are practically members of the Saudi Royal family.
The first piece censored was a simple paragraph deletion of a question Oprah asked during our interview session about taking sexual enhancement drugs. In the interview she asked, “Ron, there is a rumor you have a 14 inch member, is that true?” I replied , “We should discount false and wild rumors. They very often, frequently are exaggerated and not creditable. But for the record, Oprah, I want to clear it up. It’s a fourteen and a half-inch penis, but then again whose counting, and I am bias. I did however measure it more than once. My booking agent, Lance, says it is even longer, but he my have other motives financial and personal.” Now I admit this was in bad taste although these days nothing like it seems to be. I guess I’m old fashion. So, I immediately took it out. Oh, no, not my penis, I mean took it out of the article.
The second one was a little more sinister, and had to be completely withdrawn and censored, like until right now. It had to do with the perpetrator of 9-11 and that is always a sad and touchy subject in which to find satire or sardonic humor. I was going to choose a small section of the article and place it in this column, but by doing so would not fully explain my concern so I will reproduce a major portion of the story, and while doing it bring forth my earthshaking 9-11 Conspiracy Theory.
It all began with a news item about a New York woman, a 25 years old Erika Mendes, arrested for pushing a Muslim man off a subway platform onto the tracks of an oncoming train killing him. When asked why, she said “After 9-11 I hate all Muslims and Hindus.” The racist women evidentially may have believed the Hindus were somehow connected to the 9-11 atrocity. I thought how ignorant this women must be to believe such a thing. It was outrageous. However, her statement perked my curiosity and imagination. Could this casual comment of a Hindu connection have substance, was it possible, and could it be true? I could not sleep that night thinking about it.
The next morning almost immediately I dedicated myself to finding the truth, what if there actually was a connection. “From a small gain of seed a tree is born.” Reporters, Carl Bernstein and Bob Woodward researching Watergate for the Washington Post had only a vague suspicion the Nixon Administration was lying. Hmm! And so slowly at first, then obsessively, I began to spend hours and hours and days, days that turned into months of profound investigation researching this wild allegation. In doing so I’ve diligently gone through the Congressional Library, the Harvard Library Research Center, the Egyptian National Archives, various foreign newspaper articles, old history books, volumes of Saudi Arabian classified and unclassified material, the sacred Hindu Scriptures, and the Jeddah Public Library, and of course, Google and Facebook. The harder I worked the closer I came to believing the supposition is correct. There was a Hindu connection to the tragedy.
This is the result of my pain staking investigation: The terrorist attack in New York on September 11, 2001 was planned and executed by Hindus, and not Muslims, although carried out in finality by 19 duped Muslims. My proof for the conspiracy is as follows: The elderly Saudi Construction Mogul Mohammed Awad bin Laden was searching for a fourth wife after disposing his last fourth spouse, which as you may know is approved under the guidelines of the Koran and Muslims faith. Visiting India in 1979 he wandered through an orphanage in Bangalore and happened to view an attractive girl of about twelve. Her name was Niayti. Desiring the tall beautiful child he immediately purchased the young girl, and shortly relocated her to Jeddah, Saudi Arabia. Niayti had been the daughter of Kanti Yalasha and impoverished unwed mother who gave up the child a year after Niayti’s birth. After the marriage bin Laden changed Niayti’s name to Ana. After the honeymoon, she lived in luxury and was a happy vivacious child, with a delightful personality. However, in retrospect, suddenly, my researvh takes a serious twist. Niayti, now Ana, had at her earliest age been recruited into the secret Hindu cult of Vishavists the worship of Vistu, of Agni, the God of Fire, and Murugan the God of War. A mysterious underground Sect thoroughly indoctrinated into the belief of the supremacy of Hinduism. Yes, Ana was a sleeper agent well before she had ever met her husband the senior Bin Laden.
Although fond of the girl, after a few years Ana showed signs of independence, a nature not readily condoned by the Saudis. Bin Laden promptly divorced her. However, Ana had become popular within the billionaire’s household. Ana has an outgoing happy-go-lucky personality not endemic to Arabic culture, but which ingratiated and delighted the family. Because of her height, they called her “Tili Grarrf” meaning “Bean Pole.” She cheerfully fraternized with Laden’s wives and with the twenty or so concubines living in and near the Palace. Being a member of the household her life as a teenager was luxurious and exceptional, but with a streak of rebelliousness as she grew into womanhood in her early twenties. It was then suddenly, without the least warning Ana few to Cairo, Egypt without notice or permission and initiated a surgical sex change procedure. Spending months in recovery and rehabilitation in an exclusive Alexandra sanitorium she became the man we now know today as Osama bin Laden. She/he appeared in public as we see him today in youthful Al Qaeda propaganda posters. His name than became Osama Mohammed bin Laden. This of course infuriated the father figure and the Laden group and was her/his most serious falling out with the family. Nevertheless, after a time, reluctantly, and to avoid a Saudi Royal House scandal the bin Laden’s excepted Osama in good standing as a male heir. Thus began the legend of the Afghanistan guerilla fighter Osama bin Laden.
I am the first researcher to uncover the truth about Osama transexuality, but there were many indications which should have altered others. You may remember during the siege of Bora Bora, bin Laden was trapped and nearly captured by Allied Forces? His only companion never left his side was an Egyptian doctor Tariq Nadjar who provided a continuous flow of testosterone and other male hormone drugs to his friend and benefactor. If not furnished on a daily basis bin Laden’s beard would fall off and he would be the laughing-stock of Al Qaeda. The myth of Bin Laden using a Dialysis machine was just that, to cover his needed hormone therapy
The motive for the 9-11 set-up was rivalry between the two major faiths, the Hindus who wanted to intensely reduce Muslim credibility in the world and they accomplished their aim.
Well, I hope I have enlightened you with this previously untold conspiracy that is gone unreported in the Media, but will be someday when I receive a Pulitzer prize for Investigative Journalism. In the meantime, I’m registering this conspiracy story with the Writers Guild of America and the Hollywood Writers Association and will wait, wait a few years until the movie is released.
That’s my conspiracy story and I’m sticking to it.
All the best,