In New York Times columnist James Risen’s recently published book ‘Pay Any Price’ Risen writes “The war on terror has turned into a virtual gold mine, a gold rush around Washington D. C. for defense manufacturers and security contractors and has dearly cost the American public billions of dollar with little benefits in its approach.” Well, I’m sure that goes both ways because the gold rush is on in the terrorist arena of support and manufacturing too. Small specialized terrorist supply and service companies are popping up all over the place and making money hand-over-fist by creating inexpensive sophisticated implements of destruction. Here I provide a peek into such a secret organization in which I am a Managing Director.
A Knock on the Door:
Director Ron: Damn, I’m being bothered again by one of the supervisors.
Mohammed: Mr. Ron, we’re packing Colgate and Pepsodent tubes, is it okay to fill the Polident denture paste tubes too?
Ron: “Yes, Mohammed, they’re all the same, any brand just so the plastic explosives are injected under sufficient pressure and there is no leakage. By the way, Mohammed, how many explosive tubes of paste do we have ready to ship?”
Mohammed: “Pak Ron, We called Al Sheebob on the I-phone and they will send a helicopter when we reach the required number of 1000 tubes.”
Ron: “But, Mo, that isn’t what I asked you, how many do we have ready right now is the answer I want. Jesus, I can understand why the Syrian ISIS got rid of you. Mo, you’ve got be precise, we’re not amateurs here.”
Mohammed: 888 exactly so far, Sir.
Ron: Thanks, but you must always give me the exact figure quickly for planning and coordinating purposes. When do you think the entire order will be ready?
Mohammed: I estimate by noon tomorrow, Sir. Al Sheebob will send a helicopter.
Ron: You’re not worth it, Mo, but I’m putting a little extra in your pay packet this week. I know you’re planning to buy a house. It’s not much only $4,000 U.S. green, but Its’s something. There will be more when we really get swinging, and I am happy to say things are looking very good for us right now. Mo, I’ve heard you’re worried about your job. Well don’t. Our jobs and ‘Ye Little Old Workshop’ will go on for a long time. The war on terror will never end, so don’t worry about job security. Terrorism is growing every day, take a look at Google some time, there are hundreds of terror groups. I counted 51 on the list and was only on the A’s. There will aways be a market for our expertise. We’re in demand. Why, just last night I saw a retired Army colonel on Fox saying this ISIS thing will be going on for twenty, thirty years. Besides, we have dozens of big and smaller contracts to fill, customers will be coming out of the woodwork. Oh, yeah, Moe, how is the exploding undergarment project going at location three?
Mohammed: ‘Mumbles, mumbles’ ?…something… finally, “We’ve got the tailor working on it. You know the woman you had flown in from Paris, that woman.
Ron: Oh, yeah the one from Victoria Secrets, but she’s only a specialist for female undergarments lingerie, but what worries me Mo, how about your Pakistani tailor brother-in-law? Are you sure he’s qualified, his work samples were good, and he did work with that American citizen guy who got droned in Yemen. Mo, he just doesn’t seem motivated.
Mohammed: He is motivated Pak, he is. Amed is a Haji, been to Mecca and he prays five times a day for the destruction of America.
Ron: Well, show me something, a suit, pants, anything he been working on. Christ he’s been on the payroll for three weeks.
Mohammed: I will. I will. He has had a lot on this mind lately. He’s thinking of Killing his daughter. Honor killing you know.
Ron: What, a honor killing, just a mere honor killing, tell him to snap out of it and get off his backside and get to work. We’re paying the him $40,000 a month.
Mohammed: it’s serious. Pak Ron, she’s started wearing lipstick and perfume, and she likes music like U-2, Bounce, and Millie somebody, very sexy.
Ron: Tell your brother-in-law to get over it, and produce some work, something we can see or he’s finished here. Now Mo, let me go, I’ve got things to do, Al Mussra phoned, and that George, the hooded Brit terrorist from ISIS phoned and I have to return their calls. And if that isn’t enough Bokoharm is complaining the whips and chains we sent them are poor quality, they break easily, although they liked the beheading swords sets. So, so, long and don’t bother me. I’ll be busy most of the day debugging my computer, those damn NSA guys have placed another malware in it, but thank Allah in Heaven I’ve hired that Afghan’s son as my tech advisor. He’s a wizard. Those NSA guys I’m please to say, will be facing a blank firewall… Bye, bye Mo, don’t bother me.
Director Ron: Ron sits in meditation at this spacious mahogany desk with volumes of publication in the background and polished plaques and framed certificates of appreciation affixed to the walls from Al Qaeda, Al Sheebob, Al Korshssaan, Tamil Nadu, the Islamic State of Iraq, and other prominent terrorist organizations. and… he reflects, “I wonder if that Afghanis computer whizz son can link me up directly with Snowdon in Moscow. Hmmm, it’s worth a trying
Three Hours Later…
Mohammed: Pak Ron, the workers are worried the shipment of exploding boots and shoes maybe confiscated by Customs and immigration when they reach Germany. The Germans are very thorough, not like in Somalia or Yemen.
Ron: Oh, those worry warts; tell them to leave these concern to me. We’ll just make more, they are already paid for; besides we have Arab Emirate Terrorist Insurance to cover any slack. Yeah, we’ll just make more if they’re confiscated. I know the workers mean well, but they shouldn’t make a big deal out of it. If the consignment is confiscated there will be a psychological impact on the public and will panic the American people. The Media reporting will scare the heck out of the westerners and they’ll spend more, a lot more money, billions on homeland security, military defense while they’re hiding under their beds suspicious of every foreigner they see. They’ll see every black person and automatically think, he’s a Black Muslim.
At Closing Time with Mr. Zarria, Our Friendly Accountant.
Director Ron: “How much has the tooth paste and hollow heel project cost so far? I’ll bet it’s peanut?”
Zarria: Although we have a well paid staff, Ron, you’ve given out bonuses like $4,000, that’s not good, we’ve got to conserve.
Ron: You accountants are all alike, hey, I took it out of Petty Cash, Zack. Zack, we’re rolling in money, don’t worry about it. Our clients are generous. But, while you’re here, let’s talk budget. What are those two small projects we’re working on costing us.
Zarria: The two cost respectively, Toothpaste Project, $21,550, and the Hollow Heel Shoe Project $17,430. That of course is well within our budget.
Ron: “How much have we charged or will charge for each project?”
Zerria: The stuffed toothpaste project $650.000 and the exploding shoe heels which is on-going is $447,000 U. S. dollars. Our clients are rich and oue work is dangerous.
Ron: Zack That’s an excellent profit margin, but something does add up. Why so much for toothpaste stuffing and less for stuffed explosive boot and shoe heels?
Zarria: The quality, the quality and quantity. It’s not easy to measure and inject toothpaste tubes but with heels we just slop the descended C-52 explosive and glue on the heel with a polished gleam. Production is easy.
Ron: While we’re at it Zack, what was the billing last month?
Zarria: Taking out his Galaxy-pad and calculating he answers,“Well, Ron, this is the rundown for November, and we’re still counting. Zack reads aloud:
The Explosive Shoe Boot Heel Project $4,257,000
Underwear, various Project $3,200,000
Ski Masks and hoods $7,000,000
Knives, swords, chains, chopping blocks $24,400,000
Airline food poisoning Project $152,000
Live Ebola Body drop, London Street $10,240.000
Live Ebola Body drop, New York City $12,520.000
Lingerie, bikinis, Porn films, toys. $375.000
Ron: Zack, did you invoice $375,000 dollars for lingerie? Bokoharm only captured 250 young girls last month, only 250 bodies, the cost is outrageous.
Zack: Ron, it’s a civil war, a dangerous area, there are transportation problems, and its a great opportunity for expanding profit, they’ve paid up front after we gave them the catalogues. Chief procurer Al Hondi says it’s for stock, and they plan to kidnap 3000 girls next year. Besides they often have four wives and several village girlfriends.
Ron: “I’ve got to talk with you confidentially, Zack, those Arabs managers are driving me crazy, and we understand each other. The managers, are straight from the ISIS front lines and a bunch of numb-nuts. They have no imagination. You know what makes a country great, Zack, innovation, new Ideas, planning, looking ahead combining new and old weaponry. So, I’ll bounce this off you, Zack A manufactured black-masked, sinister looking, near life-size, rubber terrorist replica, a doll, armed with a plastic AK-47 for placing under the beds of adults and children to scare the hell out of the on Halloween night. or anytime.
Zack: Good idea, Ron, our Chinese material supplier can make them for about $30,00, and we can sell them for $500 each. And also, think of marketing, the children of terrorist will love them too as a reminder of dad while he’s away at the front fighting for ISIS.
Zack: Well, Ron, I guess it’s getting late and it’s time to go…. The wife and kids are waiting for me. Say, will you be listing Ye Old terrorist Workshop Incorporated on one the stock exchanges any time soon? I know wealthy Saudis who would like to buy a few thousand shares as a long-term investment. They’re betting the war on terror will never end.
All the Best,
Memoirs, Rogue Journey, Asia, 1935-1975 (the way it was) and Vietnam Journey, ten years in Vietnam. Amazon.com, books and Kindle.